Long Gone and Moved On

Okay, so perhaps my title isn't all that great for this post. It probably is a little bit offensive to some people, and for that, I'm sorry. Kind of. 

Here's my thing, though. With my anxiety, I tend to get really upset if somebody that I love dies, or is sick, and I don't always know the best way to deal with that. I know a lot of you are probably reading this and thinking "Doesn't everybody get upset about death and illness?" Yes, yes they do. 

See, I volunteer once a week at a senior's home, so I tend to get really attached to some people. About two years ago, when I first started there, I met a really nice woman and her and I became really fast friends. This past October, she died. I was literally shattered. I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do, my panic attacks started to come back, I didn't want to volunteer anymore and I just wanted my best friend back. Now, there's a man that I've become really good friends with who's sick and isn't in the very best condition. He's well into his eighties, so there's a chance he might not make it, which makes me unbelievably upset. I have a sickening feeling I'll start to panic, and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do about that yet, but here's my semi-formed plan.

1.  I'm going to take deep breath when I begin to get that feeling in my stomach. You know the one, like you're going to vomit.
2. I'm going to tell myself that these thoughts aren't wanted and that I can't deal with them right now.
3. If that doesn't work, I'll change my negative thoughts to positive ones. I'll start to think about the good times I've had with the person I've lost or feel I will lose. 
4. If that still doesn't work, I'll sit down and write a poem or a new blog post or a short story. Whatever I think will help me will do just fine.

So, that's what I'm probably going to do if I start to freak out tonight. It would be really helpful if you made a game plan too, if you think you might to start to panic, or even just in case. You can use mine if you want to. Remember that Step 4 is personal for me. I don't mean you can't use it, I'm just saying that it would be better if you chose something that would help you, like maybe vlogging, or reading, watching television or simply listening to some music. Anxiety is a personal thing, and you can deal with it in your own special way.

I know I'm probably only reaching out to one tenth of the population, but I just wanted to let you know that I believe in you and I love you and think you're such a special person. I know this because everybody is beautiful and special and unique and WONDERFUL! So believe that in your life and follow your dreams.

 

 

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth