Long Gone and Moved On

Okay, so perhaps my title isn't all that great for this post. It probably is a little bit offensive to some people, and for that, I'm sorry. Kind of. 

Here's my thing, though. With my anxiety, I tend to get really upset if somebody that I love dies, or is sick, and I don't always know the best way to deal with that. I know a lot of you are probably reading this and thinking "Doesn't everybody get upset about death and illness?" Yes, yes they do. 

See, I volunteer once a week at a senior's home, so I tend to get really attached to some people. About two years ago, when I first started there, I met a really nice woman and her and I became really fast friends. This past October, she died. I was literally shattered. I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do, my panic attacks started to come back, I didn't want to volunteer anymore and I just wanted my best friend back. Now, there's a man that I've become really good friends with who's sick and isn't in the very best condition. He's well into his eighties, so there's a chance he might not make it, which makes me unbelievably upset. I have a sickening feeling I'll start to panic, and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do about that yet, but here's my semi-formed plan.

1.  I'm going to take deep breath when I begin to get that feeling in my stomach. You know the one, like you're going to vomit.
2. I'm going to tell myself that these thoughts aren't wanted and that I can't deal with them right now.
3. If that doesn't work, I'll change my negative thoughts to positive ones. I'll start to think about the good times I've had with the person I've lost or feel I will lose. 
4. If that still doesn't work, I'll sit down and write a poem or a new blog post or a short story. Whatever I think will help me will do just fine.

So, that's what I'm probably going to do if I start to freak out tonight. It would be really helpful if you made a game plan too, if you think you might to start to panic, or even just in case. You can use mine if you want to. Remember that Step 4 is personal for me. I don't mean you can't use it, I'm just saying that it would be better if you chose something that would help you, like maybe vlogging, or reading, watching television or simply listening to some music. Anxiety is a personal thing, and you can deal with it in your own special way.

I know I'm probably only reaching out to one tenth of the population, but I just wanted to let you know that I believe in you and I love you and think you're such a special person. I know this because everybody is beautiful and special and unique and WONDERFUL! So believe that in your life and follow your dreams.

 

 

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

Losing It!

No, I'm not talking about virginity. I'm talking about my mental sanity (as if I had any in the first place). My week has been so insanely stressful, I'm not even going to bother to tell you. Okay, I'll tell you anyways. I've been filming non-stop for a video I'm going to be in, tomorrow, I've volunteered to run a field event in my community, I've got some little rug-rats to watch for my friend on Friday night (as if I had any plans) and I'm SICK on top of it all. That's also why I haven't posted in a little bit. 

So, you might be asking yourself, what does this have anything to do with me and my problems? I'm sorry, fellow readers. Let me explain. When I get really stressed out, my anxiety tends to flair up and I can't really deal with it all that well because I have other things more important to worry about so I become "How to Deal" post. If those still don't work for you, try some other things, like cutting down the amount of stress in your life. I know it may seem hard, but cutting out the things that are weighing you down will really help. If you're drowning and carrying a fifteen pound brick, you're going to drop the brick, right? So drop the brick of stress and let it go.

How, you might ask. Well, I'm not a big fan, but I've heard yoga is very calming and relaxing. Also, taking some time out for yourself would be really nice. Read a new book, get some coffee, get a mani-pedi (if you're a guy, go golfing). If all else fails, grab some candles and bubble bath and draw yourself a calming bath. Maybe even add a little music, too.

I know life may throw you hard balls and oranges and potatoes and apples, but you need to dodge and find the right tools to deal with them all. Baseball bats, orange peels, vegetable peelers and peanut butter are all very useful things to have around. Just remember that you aren't alone when it comes to stress or anxiety. There are others just like you out there.

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

How to Deal

 So, hopefully a lot of you read my first post and wanted to read more. From the looks of it, nobody did, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right? I'm not giving up on my mission just because nobody has read my blog. YET. Still, I've decided to create another blog, one that's a little more for everybody, not just people with anxiety and other mental illnesses, about all sorts of crap, like movie and book reviews and my personal little rants (I have a lot of them). Here's the link: Viewing is Reviewing.

 Now, to the main topic of this post. So, the most important thing when you're suffering from anxiety is to learn how to deal with you're problems. Let's take the basis of my anxiety and use it as an example. I am deathly afraid of death (pun was ENTIRELY intended). I worry all the time about the safety of my family, particularly my mom, and my own demise. I'm really sorry if I'm making you afraid of all these things, and if you have a problem with it, please let me know, otherwise I'll probably keep doing it. Anyways, from time to time, I let my mind wander and all the awful, scary thoughts spiral out of control and before I know it, I'm having a panic attack. First things first: Keep panicking. I know it sounds a little strange, maybe even psychotic, but I'm being honest here. Fears are endorphins, we need them to stay alive, or we'd just jump in front a moving car without a care in the world. What you need to do it try and stay in that mode of panic, if you can, because like all endorphins, eventually, they'll fade away and the panic will leave. I know that sometimes, that can be really hard and maybe even impossibly. I can hardly do it myself. And if that's the case with you, there are other things you can do.

When I was little, and I started to have my panic attacks and couldn't sleep, I'd always ask my mom if she could give me something to think about when I closed my eyes. I'd end up dreaming about ponies and unicorns and Mickey Mouse, or something along those lines. Keep in mind I was eight, so that might now work for you, but if you can distract yourself with another thought of some sort, do it. It might just work.

As I got older, Mickey Mouse and unicorns just wasn't cutting it anymore. So I started to read and watch television and all sorts of other things. When I went to group therapy, however, they told us not to do that. They said it would distract us and we needed to face these things head on. Now, I don't know if the therapists there ever faced anxiety attacks, but I can tell you for sure that that method DID NOT work for me. My distracting thought was the television, or my book, or the radio. I needed that to stop my fears, and if you need it to, go for it. Because fears can be scary, anxiety can be terrifying, and when you feel like curling up and dying, the last thing you're going to want to do is keep suffering. 

That's it for today, folks. Tomorrow, I'll probably have something up about different types of anxiety and sites that you can go to when this won't cut it (like that will ever happen).

Until tomorrow (unless you need me NOW, then you can e-mail me at ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca for anything urgent),

Elizabeth~

 

Welcome!

Hey guys, how's it going? I'm Elizabeth and you're reading my first blog entry EVER! I think you should feel very special right now!

So listen, you've probably already noticed the title, right? And you're probably wondering what's up with it? Well, I'm crazy. Plain and simple, I'm a whack job. In all honesty, I'm fine with that. Or rather, I am now.

See, as I was starting to grow up, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty right away, but basically, that means that I had severe panic attacks, lots of irrational fears and frets, along with other symptoms, like being passive-aggressive and all those other fun things. I started to think I was crazy. All the other kids got to sleep soundly in their beds, so why couldn't I sleep through the night before my heart clenched like a fist and my breathe caught in my throat?

Eventually, I got help from a therapist and so far, so good. I went to a group exercise, where I sat with kids my age and we talked about everything that bothered us and learned how to deal with our anxiety. 

I know there are other people out there that have anxiety. I know that people are having an awful time with it. There may be thoughts of suicide, cutting, terrible things like that. While I thankfully never had to experience that, I wanted to help people that were. And that's exactly what I'm going to do, among other things.

What other things, you ask? Well, for starters, I have a bit of a messed up life (with or without the anxiety, it's still hectic), so chances are, you'll get a kick out of my hell. And then I'll have an on the side blog with gossip, book and movie reviews and just some random rant crap, which I'll make whenever I have the time. So here's to the start of a brand new blog and hopefully, help for other anxiety sufferers, just like me. So, tell me in the comments, are you crazy? Do you think you're crazy? And answer my blog title question: If You Know You're Crazy, Are You?
Until tomorrow,
Elizabeth
(Unless you need help now. Then don't hesitate to e-mail ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca at any time)