Friends and Family Price

How's it going, guys? I have a pretty different topic today, something that I want people to know and understand. This post applies to all and every person that knows somebody with anxiety. I know that it might be scary for you to watch your loved ones and dear friends have to struggle with this mental illness, believe me, I know. While my little sister doesn't have anxiety, she's dealing with a plethora of other mental illnesses, and it's tough to watch her in so much pain and not be able to help her. Today, I want people to know the best course of action to take with the people that you know struggling with this specific mental illness.

I was nine when anxiety first began to make itself known to me, and I've fought with it every day since. I didn't know what to do or what was going on with me, I thought I was crazy and I was a little jealous that other kids got a full night sleep while I was awake, panicking because I was sure I'd seen something move in my closet, or because I'd read some chain mail saying I was going to die at midnight (which, by the way, NEVER HAPPENED). There was a lot of confusion, frustration and anger that developed in me and often times, I'd be crying until I fell asleep because of my fears.

I'm not saying my mom didn't help me, either. My mother tried so hard to calm me down, was able to pull herself out of bed at midnight when I ran into her bedroom crying, and held me when things were getting really scary. But it just wasn't enough, and that wasn't her fault. ANXIETY BUSTER NUMBER ONE: Don't ever blame yourself for a loved one's mental illness, or not being able to fix it. It isn't just a boo-boo and takes a doctor to fix. I can't help you to the full extent that you'll need help, but I'm kind of like a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. I stop everything from coming out for a little bit, and you're like that too, if you do everything right.

As I was saying, it wasn't my mother's fault that she couldn't stop me from freaking out, and it isn't her fault now. Nobody could've controlled me, because I was in a scary, dark place, where everything was out to get me. ANXIETY BUSTER TWO: Chances are, your person with anxiety is in the same type of state when they're panicking, so don't yell or scream at them, that isn't going to help, it'll just make things worse. Hold them, tell them that it'll be alright, talk them down from the dark place they're in until they have more reasonable thoughts, ones that aren't as crazy as they are while you're scared.

The thing I found DIDN'T help me at all was people telling me to "Get over it" or that it was "something everybody dealt with". It made me get angry, because I knew that not everybody stressed, felt sick, cried and threw fits because they'd seen something that scared them. And getting over it? Almost physically impossible when you're crying so hard you could vomit. Which brings me to the final ANXIETY BUSTER THREE: Don't ever talk down to someone that's panicking. Try not to make their fears seem unjustified, even though they are, and just bring them to a reasonable place, where they can talk to you and make sense.

That bring me to the end of my ANXIETY BUSTER'S for friends and family. To recap, don't blame yourself, try and bring them from their scary place and don't talk down to them. Love and showing that you care will ALWAYS help in someway. So if you know somebody with anxiety, use these tips to help them feel better and to help you feel useful, too.

Happy Helping,

Elizabeth

Don't Be Mad...

I'm really sorry to everybody that reads this blog for help with their anxiety. I haven't really gotten around to posting an honest to goodness blog post about anxiety in a little while, so that's why I'm saying SCREW introductions! I'm going to jump right into what I have to say.

Anxiety is a pretty hefty mental illness and from what I can tell, it isn't mentioned as much as other mental illnesses. Only 1 in 10 people suffer from this, which is only 10%, for those of you that don't like Math. So for you newcomers, that's what I'm talking about when I say "What do I do when I wake up in a panic?" (Panic is short form for "panic attack" or "anxiety attack", by the way).

Trust me when I say that I've dealt with that on MANY occasions. Mostly it's because I've woken up from a nightmare, or I've woken up and then fallen into a panic when really, all I want is to fall into sleep. I'll always be the first to tell you when something is hard for me, and this topic is VERY difficult for me to do.

When I wake up in a panic, I take what seems to me like a cowardly path. I turn on my television and fall asleep to that, or read a book until my eyes can't stay open anymore. I wish I knew better what would work for me, so I can deal with it on my own, but unfortunately, I can't find anything that works for me, because, if you've never dealt with a panic before, these thoughts are taunting.

Here's what I know you're SUPPOSED to do. I may or may not have mentioned before that, when I was younger, I went to group therapy for support in my journey with anxiety. I kept the workbook for that close and near to me, just in case I needed it. It doesn't exactly work for me very well now, but it could work for you if you need it to.

Chances are, people that don't understand anxiety will tell you that your fears are just that: fears. They might've said you'll get over them, or that you need to take things less seriously. As you and I both know, that's much easier said than done. What I want you to do next time you've started to panic is this. 

1. Take a deep breath and rate your fear on a scale from 1-10.
2. Think about your fear and think about the reasons your feeling this way. What happened? What could happen? Why isn't this very likely?
3. Take all your answers and create a more realistic thought. Focus on that and re-rate your fear on the same 1-10 scale. Has this process brought your fear down?

Practice this, make sure that you write this down somewhere if you think you'll need it. This isn't my process, it actually belongs to the Cool Kids program that I think originated in Europe, because it all sounds very British, but that's not important. What's important is results.

Anxiety is a nasty hobknocker (I'm trying to be British here), but you can defeat it. Believe in yourself, believe in your strengths and have confidence that everything will be fine. As one of my favourite bloggers, Kandee Johnson, says:

"You are more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine!"

And though you may not think that has anything to do with this now very cheesy post, it does. Because confidence, love and overall strength is what beats anxiety everyday.

Your Sappy Friend,
Elizabeth 

Losing It!

No, I'm not talking about virginity. I'm talking about my mental sanity (as if I had any in the first place). My week has been so insanely stressful, I'm not even going to bother to tell you. Okay, I'll tell you anyways. I've been filming non-stop for a video I'm going to be in, tomorrow, I've volunteered to run a field event in my community, I've got some little rug-rats to watch for my friend on Friday night (as if I had any plans) and I'm SICK on top of it all. That's also why I haven't posted in a little bit. 

So, you might be asking yourself, what does this have anything to do with me and my problems? I'm sorry, fellow readers. Let me explain. When I get really stressed out, my anxiety tends to flair up and I can't really deal with it all that well because I have other things more important to worry about so I become "How to Deal" post. If those still don't work for you, try some other things, like cutting down the amount of stress in your life. I know it may seem hard, but cutting out the things that are weighing you down will really help. If you're drowning and carrying a fifteen pound brick, you're going to drop the brick, right? So drop the brick of stress and let it go.

How, you might ask. Well, I'm not a big fan, but I've heard yoga is very calming and relaxing. Also, taking some time out for yourself would be really nice. Read a new book, get some coffee, get a mani-pedi (if you're a guy, go golfing). If all else fails, grab some candles and bubble bath and draw yourself a calming bath. Maybe even add a little music, too.

I know life may throw you hard balls and oranges and potatoes and apples, but you need to dodge and find the right tools to deal with them all. Baseball bats, orange peels, vegetable peelers and peanut butter are all very useful things to have around. Just remember that you aren't alone when it comes to stress or anxiety. There are others just like you out there.

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

How to Deal

 So, hopefully a lot of you read my first post and wanted to read more. From the looks of it, nobody did, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right? I'm not giving up on my mission just because nobody has read my blog. YET. Still, I've decided to create another blog, one that's a little more for everybody, not just people with anxiety and other mental illnesses, about all sorts of crap, like movie and book reviews and my personal little rants (I have a lot of them). Here's the link: Viewing is Reviewing.

 Now, to the main topic of this post. So, the most important thing when you're suffering from anxiety is to learn how to deal with you're problems. Let's take the basis of my anxiety and use it as an example. I am deathly afraid of death (pun was ENTIRELY intended). I worry all the time about the safety of my family, particularly my mom, and my own demise. I'm really sorry if I'm making you afraid of all these things, and if you have a problem with it, please let me know, otherwise I'll probably keep doing it. Anyways, from time to time, I let my mind wander and all the awful, scary thoughts spiral out of control and before I know it, I'm having a panic attack. First things first: Keep panicking. I know it sounds a little strange, maybe even psychotic, but I'm being honest here. Fears are endorphins, we need them to stay alive, or we'd just jump in front a moving car without a care in the world. What you need to do it try and stay in that mode of panic, if you can, because like all endorphins, eventually, they'll fade away and the panic will leave. I know that sometimes, that can be really hard and maybe even impossibly. I can hardly do it myself. And if that's the case with you, there are other things you can do.

When I was little, and I started to have my panic attacks and couldn't sleep, I'd always ask my mom if she could give me something to think about when I closed my eyes. I'd end up dreaming about ponies and unicorns and Mickey Mouse, or something along those lines. Keep in mind I was eight, so that might now work for you, but if you can distract yourself with another thought of some sort, do it. It might just work.

As I got older, Mickey Mouse and unicorns just wasn't cutting it anymore. So I started to read and watch television and all sorts of other things. When I went to group therapy, however, they told us not to do that. They said it would distract us and we needed to face these things head on. Now, I don't know if the therapists there ever faced anxiety attacks, but I can tell you for sure that that method DID NOT work for me. My distracting thought was the television, or my book, or the radio. I needed that to stop my fears, and if you need it to, go for it. Because fears can be scary, anxiety can be terrifying, and when you feel like curling up and dying, the last thing you're going to want to do is keep suffering. 

That's it for today, folks. Tomorrow, I'll probably have something up about different types of anxiety and sites that you can go to when this won't cut it (like that will ever happen).

Until tomorrow (unless you need me NOW, then you can e-mail me at ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca for anything urgent),

Elizabeth~