Oh My Passions!

Bonjour mes amis

From the title, I think you know what I'll be talking about today. If you guessed "passions", you're right. That is exactly what I want to share with you all.

When you have a mental illness, all you really want is to be back in control. I know I did, because losing that control drove me crazy. I wanted to stop my brain from going haywire, tell it to get back in line and stop messing around. But I couldn't because, sadly, life doesn't work that way. So I distracted myself with things that I loved. They calmed me down, and most importantly, stopped me from panicking.

My advice to you is to find something that makes you tick. Everybody has something. Mine is writing, more than anything else. A friend of mine who suffers from ADD loves drawing. And another friend of mine writes poems and draws pictures to go with them, when she's feeling depressed or lonely. Getting your feelings down on paper, through drawings, speaking, ranting, dancing, singing, whatever it is you love is the key to killing mental illness. Or, at the very least, trying to get the steering wheel back.

The next time mental illness sneaks up on you, find your thing. Grab your notebook, your sketchpad, your music, whatever. And just do. Focus all your energy on that one thing. Put your heart and soul and feelings into it. Another thing I love about getting this all down on paper is that when I decide to look back on it, I can be so proud of what I accomplished and overcame. It might also help you to realize, if you haven't already, that you need help to get through your mental illness, and you can do it. You just need to release your feelings.

Well, friends, stay strong. Keep on keeping on and do what's best. Always.

Yours in Kicking Mental Disorder's Out the Door,
Elizabeth

Self Love and Sharing Yourself

Hello Friends!

I promised you yesterday some wonderful tips on dealing with mental illness, and today, I'm going to be one hundred percent certain to give them to you. This is something I've been wanting to talk about for a while now, and I have the perfect opportunity to share it. I'll let you know more in a little bit. For now, just read on.

That shirt is what I wore today. I call it my butterfly shirt, because it's so big and bright and, when I stick my arms inside, it feels like I could fly from all the extra fabric. That black cuff is my daily "piece de resistence", or the most important thing I wear in the run of a day (forgive me for not including the accent things, I can't figure out how to do that!) As well, though you can't see them, I wear a pair of cowboy boots. I live in a city, so I stand out like a sore thumb.

My point is that I wear what makes me happy. I love my leather cuff, and my boots. My shirt is beautiful to me, and when I wear it, my confidence peaks. When you are comfortable with yourself, you can't help but exude a kind of flare that leaves people begging for your attention. And part of that relaxation comes from admitting who you are to the world.

Your mental illness is who you are. Its part of what makes you, well, YOU. Without that obstacle in your life, you wouldn't have done so many things, or met so many people. But in order to be truly okay with it, you need to talk about, especially if you haven't yet. Sharing your feelings, whether you're male or female, is the most important step in conquering your mental disorder, but it's hard, and I understand that.

If you need some help, start by talking to somebody online, or somebody that you trust a lot. That way, you know that the person wouldn't a) Ever share that information with anybody else because b) They don't have anybody that knows you well enough that their finding out about your mental illness would be detrimental. 

You can always be yourself, and always let your true colors shine. And now, here is the perfect opportunity to take that giant leap forward. A woman by the name of Amy Morby (I've never spoken with her, or seen her before) has started a revolution. This woman is a recovering anorexic, a mental illness that can have horrible results on your life, and is starting something in the month of February called "Self Love Month". You can click on the badge below to go to her website and sign the declaration of self love to commit to what she's doing.

 

You don't have to be anybody else but you. Embrace yourself and sign the declaration. My own personal challenge to you is to tell somebody about your mental illness. One person. I believe in you.

Your Insanely Sappy, Cheesy, But Well Meaning Friend,

Elizabeth 

P.S. I have a twitter now! You can follow me HERE!

Look Ma! No Hands!

Its been a while, I know. And from my heart, I send you my deepest condolences. I should tell you, however, that a lot of things have changed since the last time I posted here. 

1. A while back, I mentioned I volunteered at a senior's home. One of the men there (I think I told you about the man who had cancer), past away around the end of August. I miss him a lot.
2. I stopped volunteering at the senior's home. Being there, with all the memories of the people that I grew to love was starting to get a little more difficult than I could handle. After two years there, I finished up. As a bonus, they sent me a little gift card to my local movie theater, which was kind of them.
3. I'm in the process of getting a new volunteering job in my area. People, I've learned, are insanely difficult to work with. Don't give up, though, because you'll find a good enough person sooner or later.

And, probably the biggest change of all...

    4.   I GOT A THERAPIST! (cue cheers)

That's right, friends. I got myself a wonderful therapist who helped me through so many of the terrible thoughts that started coming back to me and it was all amazing and life started looking up again!
Then, IT happened.
One night, I missed an appointment. It was all just one big miscommunication and an accident, totally unintentional. So, she was called. And called. And called. But she never called back, never rescheduled an appointment and I haven't seen her now since October. It kind of stinks that the one woman that was kind of like my life preserver left me to drown. Little did she know, however, that she threw me enough rope to pull myself back to shore. I still have to fall asleep at night with the television on to cope with hard thoughts, but I've learned how to deal with my anxiety during the day. She was also the one that convinced me it was a good idea to leave the senior's home, and I think that was a wise decision.

In this post, I've talked so much about myself, I haven't given you much advice. Here's the thing: Keep on keeping on. I've heard that before, I can't remember where, but it's pretty awesome, isn't it? My therapist left me for a reason, but I had her long enough that I can deal. I can handle myself pretty well on a day to day basis, and some of that is because of her. But the rest is from the strength of myself, my friends and my family. We kept on keeping on, and didn't stop living because of nothing. Life isn't amazing right now, but it is so much better, you wouldn't believe.

I have some awesome tips for tomorrow, so don't you worry your little soul about that. Elizabeth's back, friends!

Kisses and Hugs (I've never liked xoxo),
Elizabeth 

Friends and Family Price

How's it going, guys? I have a pretty different topic today, something that I want people to know and understand. This post applies to all and every person that knows somebody with anxiety. I know that it might be scary for you to watch your loved ones and dear friends have to struggle with this mental illness, believe me, I know. While my little sister doesn't have anxiety, she's dealing with a plethora of other mental illnesses, and it's tough to watch her in so much pain and not be able to help her. Today, I want people to know the best course of action to take with the people that you know struggling with this specific mental illness.

I was nine when anxiety first began to make itself known to me, and I've fought with it every day since. I didn't know what to do or what was going on with me, I thought I was crazy and I was a little jealous that other kids got a full night sleep while I was awake, panicking because I was sure I'd seen something move in my closet, or because I'd read some chain mail saying I was going to die at midnight (which, by the way, NEVER HAPPENED). There was a lot of confusion, frustration and anger that developed in me and often times, I'd be crying until I fell asleep because of my fears.

I'm not saying my mom didn't help me, either. My mother tried so hard to calm me down, was able to pull herself out of bed at midnight when I ran into her bedroom crying, and held me when things were getting really scary. But it just wasn't enough, and that wasn't her fault. ANXIETY BUSTER NUMBER ONE: Don't ever blame yourself for a loved one's mental illness, or not being able to fix it. It isn't just a boo-boo and takes a doctor to fix. I can't help you to the full extent that you'll need help, but I'm kind of like a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches. I stop everything from coming out for a little bit, and you're like that too, if you do everything right.

As I was saying, it wasn't my mother's fault that she couldn't stop me from freaking out, and it isn't her fault now. Nobody could've controlled me, because I was in a scary, dark place, where everything was out to get me. ANXIETY BUSTER TWO: Chances are, your person with anxiety is in the same type of state when they're panicking, so don't yell or scream at them, that isn't going to help, it'll just make things worse. Hold them, tell them that it'll be alright, talk them down from the dark place they're in until they have more reasonable thoughts, ones that aren't as crazy as they are while you're scared.

The thing I found DIDN'T help me at all was people telling me to "Get over it" or that it was "something everybody dealt with". It made me get angry, because I knew that not everybody stressed, felt sick, cried and threw fits because they'd seen something that scared them. And getting over it? Almost physically impossible when you're crying so hard you could vomit. Which brings me to the final ANXIETY BUSTER THREE: Don't ever talk down to someone that's panicking. Try not to make their fears seem unjustified, even though they are, and just bring them to a reasonable place, where they can talk to you and make sense.

That bring me to the end of my ANXIETY BUSTER'S for friends and family. To recap, don't blame yourself, try and bring them from their scary place and don't talk down to them. Love and showing that you care will ALWAYS help in someway. So if you know somebody with anxiety, use these tips to help them feel better and to help you feel useful, too.

Happy Helping,

Elizabeth

Don't Be Mad...

I'm really sorry to everybody that reads this blog for help with their anxiety. I haven't really gotten around to posting an honest to goodness blog post about anxiety in a little while, so that's why I'm saying SCREW introductions! I'm going to jump right into what I have to say.

Anxiety is a pretty hefty mental illness and from what I can tell, it isn't mentioned as much as other mental illnesses. Only 1 in 10 people suffer from this, which is only 10%, for those of you that don't like Math. So for you newcomers, that's what I'm talking about when I say "What do I do when I wake up in a panic?" (Panic is short form for "panic attack" or "anxiety attack", by the way).

Trust me when I say that I've dealt with that on MANY occasions. Mostly it's because I've woken up from a nightmare, or I've woken up and then fallen into a panic when really, all I want is to fall into sleep. I'll always be the first to tell you when something is hard for me, and this topic is VERY difficult for me to do.

When I wake up in a panic, I take what seems to me like a cowardly path. I turn on my television and fall asleep to that, or read a book until my eyes can't stay open anymore. I wish I knew better what would work for me, so I can deal with it on my own, but unfortunately, I can't find anything that works for me, because, if you've never dealt with a panic before, these thoughts are taunting.

Here's what I know you're SUPPOSED to do. I may or may not have mentioned before that, when I was younger, I went to group therapy for support in my journey with anxiety. I kept the workbook for that close and near to me, just in case I needed it. It doesn't exactly work for me very well now, but it could work for you if you need it to.

Chances are, people that don't understand anxiety will tell you that your fears are just that: fears. They might've said you'll get over them, or that you need to take things less seriously. As you and I both know, that's much easier said than done. What I want you to do next time you've started to panic is this. 

1. Take a deep breath and rate your fear on a scale from 1-10.
2. Think about your fear and think about the reasons your feeling this way. What happened? What could happen? Why isn't this very likely?
3. Take all your answers and create a more realistic thought. Focus on that and re-rate your fear on the same 1-10 scale. Has this process brought your fear down?

Practice this, make sure that you write this down somewhere if you think you'll need it. This isn't my process, it actually belongs to the Cool Kids program that I think originated in Europe, because it all sounds very British, but that's not important. What's important is results.

Anxiety is a nasty hobknocker (I'm trying to be British here), but you can defeat it. Believe in yourself, believe in your strengths and have confidence that everything will be fine. As one of my favourite bloggers, Kandee Johnson, says:

"You are more beautiful than you know, more talented than you think, and more loved than you can imagine!"

And though you may not think that has anything to do with this now very cheesy post, it does. Because confidence, love and overall strength is what beats anxiety everyday.

Your Sappy Friend,
Elizabeth 

Dealing with Sadness and Depression

How is everybody on this lovely day? Wait, how lovely can a day be when a murderer is let loose? Oh wait, I'm sorry, she's not a murderer. The jury said so. She's just a liar.

Cue my extreme sadness/borderline depression here. Innocent little Caylee Marie Anthony was born five years ago into a family that wouldn't love her and was taken out of this world two years later. There is no other explanation of her death besides her mother's obvious mental insanity, far greater than mine or yours. If you have any reasoning behind her death, I'd honestly like to hear it, because maybe my facts are screwed up. But probably not.

When I first heard that Casey Anthony would actually get to live the rest of her life, unlike her daughter, I felt physically sick, I was that sad. I had to sit down and just think for a little bit. And I came up with this.

Caylee Anthony certainly didn't live a charmed life. It was short, and likely empty of any sort of love whatsoever. She likely died a sad death, sadder than most, and never really got to live. But now, little Caylee Anthony is safe, wherever she may be. She can be a normal little two year old angel and not have to worry about being fed, or bathed, or neglected, if that happened in her home (I'm speculating, just my opinions, not actually based on fact). And while Casey Anthony didn't exactly have justice served to her here, I believe that in the next world or dimension or wherever we go after death, judgement will be served. I've read a lot of people's posts that have the same opinion.

If you're ever having a sad time in your life, try and think of the positive. As impossible as it may seem, there is almost always some hidden somewhere. So take a moment of silence for not only the life that was lost, but the injustice that was served.

With love,

Elizabeth

CTTC6ZJUBE4B 

My Poetry (or an attempt, anyway)

So fresh, unbearable
Searing pain in my chest.
It builds and grows to eat me whole.
I don't think I can do this anymore.

My eyes fall shut, my tears drip down,
My senses sharp, my feelings profound.
I lose my grip, my hold on life,
As daytime fades to the dreaded night.

My future flashes before my eyes,
The fear and pain of my demise.
I feel my heart clenching in my chest,
Fears filled with agony at their best.

So that's my attempt at poetry. I know I already posted today, but I felt bad just promoting myself and not actually helping anybody who was reading, so here you go. I wrote this once when I was in the middle of a panic attack and I really just needed to release. I was crying and scared but more than anything, I wanted to remember exactly how I felt and what I did to help myself. 

Now, so I can communicate with you all better, leave me a comment telling me how you deal with your anxiety, maybe leave a little something you might've written and tell me what you think of my poetic release. Just please, try not to be too mean!

Yours in Horrible Poetry,

Elizabeth

Drop Me a Line!

Howdy Folks!

My head isn't really in the right state at the moment to write a post about dealing with anxiety or any of those things. In fact, what I really want from you today is kind of a big, but worthwhile, favour.

Sadly, you cannot see the traffic that this blog is getting. Basically, it's getting none. Well, except for you, but you know what I'm getting at. Anyway, this means that people OBVIOUSLY aren't sharing this blog with other people. Now let me start by saying that I don't want this blog to be super popular, trust me. Hopefully, I'm not coming across like that. I want my other blog to be frequented, but the fewer visitors here means less people with anxiety.

That being said, you can't fool me. I know there are more people in the world with anxiety that need help. I want to give them as much help as I can. Yes, I know, this blog post isn't doing anything. But if nobody reads this blog in the first place, my blog isn't going to help ANYBODY, period. So that's where you come in.

If you have anxiety, tell me about if. E-mail me at ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca if you want to tell me things, or if there are things you want help with and maybe things I should cover in my blog posts. If your friend has anxiety, or any mental illness, tell them about it! Like this blog's Facebook page, and share your favourite blog posts with people. I want humans to get the help they deserve, and this is a free way to do it. By no means do I want a lot of views, I just want to help a lot of people.

Your Helping Hand,

Elizabeth

Sadness, Happiness and Updates

Hey guys, how's it been hanging? I'm really sorry I haven't written a new post in a while, it's just that I've been really busy. I know, no excuse, right? Just because I'm busy doesn't mean I shouldn't be helping you. Being busy is a stupid excuse.

That's why I have another, much more worthy excuse. I've actually been feeling really ill lately. Not physically ill, although that comes along with it, but mentally ill. Obviously, I'm already mentally ill, or I wouldn't be writing these blog posts. But I've been feeling a little bit relapse-y, for lack of a better term. I'm not going to get into it, not because I don't want to, but because I'm here to help YOU. And, because I really just needed a good (but true) excuse for not writing on here.

On a happier side-note, SCHOOL'S DONE! And I'm loving life right now. Well, kind of, because sleep isn't really coming all that easily to me now. God, I'm so freaking depressing! Alright, think happy thoughts now. Unicorns, butterflies, sunshine, rainbows, flowers, new Shane Dawson video today. See? Now don't we ALL feel better?

Also, on a completely unrelated topic, has anybody noticed my disgraceful "banner"? I can't figure out how to make one. If anybody is reading this and would like to make me a banner using the picture up there, my title and description, I will try to reimburse your time SOMEHOW. Please help?

To wrap up this little post, because I'm tired and have nothing else to say, I just want to let you all know that writing this has kind of helped me take my mind off of everything I've been freaking out over. If anybody else is going through the same thing I've been, please, hit me up at ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca so we can go through these things together. And if you are dealing with anxiety, depression, stress, fear or any type of hardship in your life right now, my thoughts and prayers (or just thoughts, if you ain't religious) go out to you.

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

Long Gone and Moved On

Okay, so perhaps my title isn't all that great for this post. It probably is a little bit offensive to some people, and for that, I'm sorry. Kind of. 

Here's my thing, though. With my anxiety, I tend to get really upset if somebody that I love dies, or is sick, and I don't always know the best way to deal with that. I know a lot of you are probably reading this and thinking "Doesn't everybody get upset about death and illness?" Yes, yes they do. 

See, I volunteer once a week at a senior's home, so I tend to get really attached to some people. About two years ago, when I first started there, I met a really nice woman and her and I became really fast friends. This past October, she died. I was literally shattered. I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do, my panic attacks started to come back, I didn't want to volunteer anymore and I just wanted my best friend back. Now, there's a man that I've become really good friends with who's sick and isn't in the very best condition. He's well into his eighties, so there's a chance he might not make it, which makes me unbelievably upset. I have a sickening feeling I'll start to panic, and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do about that yet, but here's my semi-formed plan.

1.  I'm going to take deep breath when I begin to get that feeling in my stomach. You know the one, like you're going to vomit.
2. I'm going to tell myself that these thoughts aren't wanted and that I can't deal with them right now.
3. If that doesn't work, I'll change my negative thoughts to positive ones. I'll start to think about the good times I've had with the person I've lost or feel I will lose. 
4. If that still doesn't work, I'll sit down and write a poem or a new blog post or a short story. Whatever I think will help me will do just fine.

So, that's what I'm probably going to do if I start to freak out tonight. It would be really helpful if you made a game plan too, if you think you might to start to panic, or even just in case. You can use mine if you want to. Remember that Step 4 is personal for me. I don't mean you can't use it, I'm just saying that it would be better if you chose something that would help you, like maybe vlogging, or reading, watching television or simply listening to some music. Anxiety is a personal thing, and you can deal with it in your own special way.

I know I'm probably only reaching out to one tenth of the population, but I just wanted to let you know that I believe in you and I love you and think you're such a special person. I know this because everybody is beautiful and special and unique and WONDERFUL! So believe that in your life and follow your dreams.

 

 

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

Losing It!

No, I'm not talking about virginity. I'm talking about my mental sanity (as if I had any in the first place). My week has been so insanely stressful, I'm not even going to bother to tell you. Okay, I'll tell you anyways. I've been filming non-stop for a video I'm going to be in, tomorrow, I've volunteered to run a field event in my community, I've got some little rug-rats to watch for my friend on Friday night (as if I had any plans) and I'm SICK on top of it all. That's also why I haven't posted in a little bit. 

So, you might be asking yourself, what does this have anything to do with me and my problems? I'm sorry, fellow readers. Let me explain. When I get really stressed out, my anxiety tends to flair up and I can't really deal with it all that well because I have other things more important to worry about so I become "How to Deal" post. If those still don't work for you, try some other things, like cutting down the amount of stress in your life. I know it may seem hard, but cutting out the things that are weighing you down will really help. If you're drowning and carrying a fifteen pound brick, you're going to drop the brick, right? So drop the brick of stress and let it go.

How, you might ask. Well, I'm not a big fan, but I've heard yoga is very calming and relaxing. Also, taking some time out for yourself would be really nice. Read a new book, get some coffee, get a mani-pedi (if you're a guy, go golfing). If all else fails, grab some candles and bubble bath and draw yourself a calming bath. Maybe even add a little music, too.

I know life may throw you hard balls and oranges and potatoes and apples, but you need to dodge and find the right tools to deal with them all. Baseball bats, orange peels, vegetable peelers and peanut butter are all very useful things to have around. Just remember that you aren't alone when it comes to stress or anxiety. There are others just like you out there.

Lots of Love,

Elizabeth

How to Deal

 So, hopefully a lot of you read my first post and wanted to read more. From the looks of it, nobody did, but hey, you have to start somewhere, right? I'm not giving up on my mission just because nobody has read my blog. YET. Still, I've decided to create another blog, one that's a little more for everybody, not just people with anxiety and other mental illnesses, about all sorts of crap, like movie and book reviews and my personal little rants (I have a lot of them). Here's the link: Viewing is Reviewing.

 Now, to the main topic of this post. So, the most important thing when you're suffering from anxiety is to learn how to deal with you're problems. Let's take the basis of my anxiety and use it as an example. I am deathly afraid of death (pun was ENTIRELY intended). I worry all the time about the safety of my family, particularly my mom, and my own demise. I'm really sorry if I'm making you afraid of all these things, and if you have a problem with it, please let me know, otherwise I'll probably keep doing it. Anyways, from time to time, I let my mind wander and all the awful, scary thoughts spiral out of control and before I know it, I'm having a panic attack. First things first: Keep panicking. I know it sounds a little strange, maybe even psychotic, but I'm being honest here. Fears are endorphins, we need them to stay alive, or we'd just jump in front a moving car without a care in the world. What you need to do it try and stay in that mode of panic, if you can, because like all endorphins, eventually, they'll fade away and the panic will leave. I know that sometimes, that can be really hard and maybe even impossibly. I can hardly do it myself. And if that's the case with you, there are other things you can do.

When I was little, and I started to have my panic attacks and couldn't sleep, I'd always ask my mom if she could give me something to think about when I closed my eyes. I'd end up dreaming about ponies and unicorns and Mickey Mouse, or something along those lines. Keep in mind I was eight, so that might now work for you, but if you can distract yourself with another thought of some sort, do it. It might just work.

As I got older, Mickey Mouse and unicorns just wasn't cutting it anymore. So I started to read and watch television and all sorts of other things. When I went to group therapy, however, they told us not to do that. They said it would distract us and we needed to face these things head on. Now, I don't know if the therapists there ever faced anxiety attacks, but I can tell you for sure that that method DID NOT work for me. My distracting thought was the television, or my book, or the radio. I needed that to stop my fears, and if you need it to, go for it. Because fears can be scary, anxiety can be terrifying, and when you feel like curling up and dying, the last thing you're going to want to do is keep suffering. 

That's it for today, folks. Tomorrow, I'll probably have something up about different types of anxiety and sites that you can go to when this won't cut it (like that will ever happen).

Until tomorrow (unless you need me NOW, then you can e-mail me at ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca for anything urgent),

Elizabeth~

 

Welcome!

Hey guys, how's it going? I'm Elizabeth and you're reading my first blog entry EVER! I think you should feel very special right now!

So listen, you've probably already noticed the title, right? And you're probably wondering what's up with it? Well, I'm crazy. Plain and simple, I'm a whack job. In all honesty, I'm fine with that. Or rather, I am now.

See, as I was starting to grow up, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty right away, but basically, that means that I had severe panic attacks, lots of irrational fears and frets, along with other symptoms, like being passive-aggressive and all those other fun things. I started to think I was crazy. All the other kids got to sleep soundly in their beds, so why couldn't I sleep through the night before my heart clenched like a fist and my breathe caught in my throat?

Eventually, I got help from a therapist and so far, so good. I went to a group exercise, where I sat with kids my age and we talked about everything that bothered us and learned how to deal with our anxiety. 

I know there are other people out there that have anxiety. I know that people are having an awful time with it. There may be thoughts of suicide, cutting, terrible things like that. While I thankfully never had to experience that, I wanted to help people that were. And that's exactly what I'm going to do, among other things.

What other things, you ask? Well, for starters, I have a bit of a messed up life (with or without the anxiety, it's still hectic), so chances are, you'll get a kick out of my hell. And then I'll have an on the side blog with gossip, book and movie reviews and just some random rant crap, which I'll make whenever I have the time. So here's to the start of a brand new blog and hopefully, help for other anxiety sufferers, just like me. So, tell me in the comments, are you crazy? Do you think you're crazy? And answer my blog title question: If You Know You're Crazy, Are You?
Until tomorrow,
Elizabeth
(Unless you need help now. Then don't hesitate to e-mail ifyouknowyourecrazy@hotmail.ca at any time)